So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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