This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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