Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
