Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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