i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
