I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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