Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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