can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
