____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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