Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
