she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
