what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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