i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
