ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
