I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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