Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
