in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Randomize
