I'm passing your future prison.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
