So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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