I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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