The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
