Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
