I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am naked and annoyed.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
