I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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