I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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