We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
