I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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