Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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