I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
