If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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