just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
