He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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