you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
