singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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