I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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