There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
