so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
