Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can feel your judgement through the phone
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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