We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
