I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
