i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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