at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My vagina just clenched in fear
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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