I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
