i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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