the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
