After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
