I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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