I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
