She announced her abortion via fbk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sobbing to NWA
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
