I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
